[Life] What I learned during my 6 month Sabbatical

 🦋Azra’s Sabbatical Learning

February 23, 2022

This 5 min summary is the best I could do to simplify all the things I learned in my 6 months off. I hope to share my experience in the hopes that it can provide simple and practical ways for us to make more mindful change in our lives. 

✨Paradise is NOT a place, it’s a state of consciousness — I went to Hawaii in search for a quick fix for happiness/peace, but instead I felt more lost and incomplete in my first few weeks there than ever before. Once I realized that it’s not a physical location I needed, but instead an internal place I needed, it completely changed the way I saw things. Which goes to my next learning… 

✨The answer you’re looking for is WITHIN YOU — crazy I know, but hear me out. Through mindfulness practices (aka being more present/ in the now) you can really feel/hear/see the world and yourself with crystal clear clarity. Finding internal peace gives you an unbreakable and unlimited source of energy that you can tap into 24/7. Great book: The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.  Here’s how you get there…

✨Deep breathing (as simple as it may seem) is THE most powerful tool you have - Use it — how you breath (shallow vs. deep) is how you live your life. We enter and exit this world through breath…think about how powerful that is. Deep breathing can instantly calm your nervous system and lower your emotional activation. If you can focus just on deep breathing 20% more, it will change you life! Quick Tip: Inhale through your nose. Fill your diaphragm (belly moves outward) like a balloon. Hold. Exhale through your mouth (make a loud sigh if that helps you fully release). Hold. Repeat 3 times. Fun fact: Dogs and babies are a few of the mammals that use diaphragm breathing correctly. No wonder that are always so happy and we love them so much!!  Breathing is the foundation for…

✨Practicing meditation is the KEY to inner peace — a practice means that it takes time/patience to get good at. Please. Don’t. Give. Up. Keep trying everyday even if it’s 5 min. The hardest part is stopping your thoughts; your thoughts are your egos way of distracting you. Don’t give them any attention, just let them pass and don’t attach or over analyze them. 

▪️Quick tip 1: I like to visualize a clear blue sky when I meditate. The clouds are my thoughts, but I do not stick my head in the cloud and over think them. No, instead I just sit like a child on the lawn and just watch the clouds pass with no attachment. When I feel frustrated for having thoughts, I choose to forgive and be kind to myself. The objective of my meditation is always to focus on the clear blue sky no matter how many clouds/ birds/ planes (aka thoughts) get in front of me. 

▪️ Quick tip 2: I start my meditations with this mantra or saying: “I let go of my past, I let go of my future, I let go of my identity” this instantly helps me feel more light and present. 

▪️ Quick tip 3: Apps are a great start! Common ones: Headspace, Calm, Balance. For me, Insight Timer has been absolutely life changing bc of its wealth of meditations, courses, and wisdoms from so many mindfulness teachers.  

▪️ Note: There are different kinds of meditations like body scans, breathing, clearing your mind, love & kindness, etc. It’s like listening to music, you have to try them all until you find the genre that works for you. Keep trying. Don’t give up! If you are new to mindfulness practice try to…

✨Create SPACE for yourself to do your “INNER WORK” every single day — inner work can be in the form of meditation, deep breathing, journaling, nature walks, self check-ins or anything that allows you to clear your headspace and connect with yourself. Create a physical space: small corner in your room/office, get a comfortable pillow/chair/blanket, light a candle/ aromatherapy. Now, close your eyes and asking yourself: How am I feeling in this present moment?  Is your body (heart, gut, etc) feeling tight, anxious, open, light? What is it that I need in this moment? Do you need love, energy, strength etc. 

✨Forgiveness is a SUPERPOWER — forgive yourself and forgive others. We are all just human beings trying to make it on this earth. Some of us have the privilege of finding love and kindness faster that others. Forgive those who can’t and instead are in pain. Forgive yourself when you stuck or irritated, you are only human. The point is not to pay back kindness, it is to pass it on. 

✨Judging others is a REFLECTION of yourself — there is that famous Michael Jackson song “Man in the Mirror” - what you think and how you treat others is a reflection of who you are on the inside. 

✨If you can FEEL it, you can HEAL it — talking about feelings is super uncomfortable, but talking/ acknowledging them is how we can stop avoiding and starting life our life to the fullest. (1) Learn to recognize what you are feeling. There are two primary emotions: love and anger. Behind all daily irritations, anxiety, there is some form of hurt. Dig deep and understand what is really causing it (ask yourself why 5 times to get to the core) and start to use the right word to describe how you are feeling (google image search ‘wheel of emotions’). Use the framework: I feel (emotion) when (action) because (reason).  (2) Heal traumas that are shackling you (this one was a big one for me). First step is to acknowledge what it is and how it got there. Whether it’s little t traumas or big T traumas, it’s important that we take the time to heal our own wounds from within or seek the guidance of therapist or coaches. If we don’t, our wounds will bleed on the people around us and the people we love the most. (3) Reframe: Vulnerability is not weakness, it is a form of self discovery and personal growth. 

✨ Don’t get in your OWN way. STOP your inner critic — the negative voice inside your head that says you can’t do it or you’re not good enough…stop. that. voice. Name that voice (I call mine Ursula - lol yes from little mermaid) and every time I have a negative thought I call Ursula out on her bullshit and tell her to stfu. Your thoughts are who you become, so make sure you fill yourself with good thoughts. Use affirmations (“I am…” statements) and set an intention for the day. Resource: What’s your inner critic? Take this free assessment www.positiveintelligence.com/saboteurs

✨ Perfection is going to KILL you and your authentic CREATIVITY — being a (semi-recovering lol) perfectionist, I have found that while perfection is what star students and employers want, in the long run it stops you from so many things. It blocks you from being creative, taking risks and being bold, and creates a sense fear of failure/ making mistakes. I have spent the last 5 years of my career being a perfectionist but I’m ready to make mistakes/ fail and in-turn learn and grow from it. I want to use my brain for thinking outside of the box instead of putting things in the box. 

✨Let go of labels and constructs that society creates for us — if it doesn’t work for you, find something that does. i.e since I was a kid, the label of God (old man in the sky) has always been so difficult for me to feel connected to. When I decided to let go of the label and form complete, I was able to connect with something deeper. Formless and pure. It works for me and at the end of the day that’s all that matters. I don’t call myself religious but I do now call myself spiritual. I’ve come to realize that for me one religion ain’t gonna cut it. Instead I’m creating my own ‘spiritual soup’ - the broth might be the same that I grew up with (Islam) but I am adding the ingredients from different practices that make my soup taste good to me (meditation, buddhism, the universe, chakras). It doesn’t matter what people think, it’s your soup and it’s nuriting your body. I won’t judge your soup, and you shouldn’t judge mine. I use this metaphor of soup for a lot of things in life. 

✨We all have LIGHT within us; we are all CONNECTED — I personally believe we are all forms of energy and light. We are connected by the universal soul (some people may call this God/ the universe etc). You don’t have to be religious or spiritual to believe that we are connected beings. When you start to see complete strangers in this way, you can see the world and its people in a more beautiful way that touches your heart. The Buddhist way of thinking is to met everyone with the love and kindness that you would give to your mom. Be open to learning new forms of thinking and connecting. Chakras (our inner energies) are something that was totally out of my comfort zone of learning, but with an open mind and multiple resources, I’ve found great wisdom from learning how our body is connected (still a work in progress of learning). 

✨Gratitude is worth a thousand of pounds of GOLD — when you love what you have (big and small) you will have everything you will ever need. Start and end your day by say/writing one thing you are grateful for (I do it while I’m brushing my teeth aka habit stacking/ kill two birds with one stone). Great gratitude app: HappyFeed 

✨When times get tough, ASK yourself, what is the universe trying to TEACH me?  — when I started to reframe why bad things were happening to me, I learned that they were not all entirely bad things, but instead they were helping me learn valuable lessons about myself and my strength and resilience. 

✨You say you don’t have time? LIMIT/ Get off social media  — I was off social media for 6 months, I can truly say I missed nothing. If it was an important update, I got a text. By not being on social media, I found so much more time in my day to invest in myself and my inner work that I feel much clearer in who I am. Social media is not all bad; it’s just learning to stop the endless scroll or knowing that it’s time to take a mental break. 

✨Embrace the MESSY MIDDLE and widen you tolerance of resilience — It’s not always rainbows and sunshine, but in the end it is worth digging deep and healing.  

I wish that all of you can have your own sabbatical - whether it’s a few minutes, days, or weeks - to truly disconnect from the world and see what a beautiful being you are on the inside. 

Love and light to you all 💙

Azra